I've always had a pretty low tolerance for people who are just critical. You know the type. Quick to say something sucks, but slow to explain why—or offer anything better.

It's the easiest move in the world: say "that's dumb," "that won't work," or just smirk and say nothing at all. Being critical doesn't require thought or ownership. You don't have to understand the context. You don't have to offer a solution. You definitely don't have to put your name on the idea that follows.

But being constructive? That's harder. It takes actual perspective. You need a point of view, not just a reaction. You have to think about what would be better, not just what's wrong. You have to engage.

The best question I ever heard in a sector meeting

When I worked in venture, there was a moment that stuck with me. An investor was explaining everything a potential founder was doing: building this, experimenting with that, trying to partner with x, talk to y. It all sounded impressive. Until a senior partner cut in:

"In service of what?" he asked.

Just those four words. The room got quiet. The speaker paused—because now he had to explain why any of that mattered.

Not what they were doing. Not how fast they were moving. But why those efforts were in service of something worthwhile.

And it changed the whole tone of the conversation. It shifted from a laundry list of activity to a strategic discussion. What are they really trying to accomplish? Do we agree that's important? Is this the right path to get there?

It turned a surface-level update into something deeper. And it stuck with me.

"So what?" is critical. "In service of what?" is constructive.

A lot of people learn how to say "So what?" as a form of smart critique. It's meant to cut through the fluff. But it feels critical. It still assumes you're smarter than the person you're evaluating.

"In service of what?" is the next level up. It's not dismissive—it's clarifying. It's not a teardown—it's a zoom out.

It forces alignment. It invites purpose. It challenges you (or the person you're talking to) to think in second- and third-order effects.

Why are we doing this? What are we actually trying to move? Is this worth our time, energy, or capital?

It's a filter I try to use now —business decisions, hiring, blog ideas, even personal habits.

If you can't answer it clearly, that's your answer.

What I Learned from David

Back when I was in ops at Lyft, and later at Lightspeed, I worked for a guy named David who gave the most direct feedback of anyone I've ever met.

It could be intense. But it never felt like he was just being critical. It always felt like he was trying to make me better—to pull out my highest output.

The energy behind it wasn't judgment. It was belief. A kind of "you're better than you know, and I'm going to help you get there."

His feedback had weight. It had purpose. And it was always constructive.

Looking back, that's probably why I trusted it. I never felt torn down—I felt coached.

Zoom Out, Ask The Question, Do The Work

The people I admire most aren't just smart—they're helpful. They don't use criticism to show off. They use questions to sharpen.

So now when I'm giving feedback—or even just trying to get clarity for myself—I try to ask the better question:

"In service of what?"

It doesn't make the work easier. But it makes it matter more.

If you're in a meeting this week, listening to someone list out a dozen priorities—or if you're staring at your own to-do list and wondering where to start—try asking it:

In service of what?

You might be surprised by the answer. Or by how hard it is to find one.

That's when the real work begins.